I have a friend who lives in Los Angeles and who is an actress. I spoke to her today about rejections, and she’s seen her fair share of rejections. Here I am upset about my words not being liked and as an actress she told me about her looks not being liked. Ultimately, she told me “You can’t think about the rejection.” It’s true. You just can’t think about the rejection, because if you do, you’ll go mad.
My husband has been steadily trying to make me feel better since yesterday. Of course another rejection came today, and I just laughed to myself like “But of course.” I work in marketing research, so I get it. My PhD is ultimately going to be in Psychology, Business Psychology. So, I get that there is a dollar sign behind everything, a strategy behind everything, and some machine behind making you want and feel the need to buy something. If an agent doesn’t feel like my book will sell then it’s not worth their effort, and I understand that. Agents work on commissions, and their world is as grueling as a writers, I suppose. They too have to package something nice enough so that someone else will want it.
Do I like writing? I would not have done it for so long if I didn’t. I also hate when people tell me “Grow a thick skin and deal with rejection.” Look, I’ve been writing for 20 years. I know rejection. I’ve had works rejected to me in my face. I’ve had my works critiqued to my face by panels. I know rejection. It’s never easy. Grow thick skin? Try growing up to a poor family in inner city Chicago where you’ve had to work since you were 14-years-old and have been working full-time since you were 17-years-old. I am all thick skin. So, rejection never gets easy, because all I’ve ever done is work, and work hard at that.
So, my actress friend made me feel a bit better. My husband has been all goofy smiles for days trying to cheer me up. If this book doesn’t get picked up by an agent or indie press I’ll likely post it here for free or on Wattpad for free or something along those lines. I write. I want people to read my writing. That’s all there is to that. Some people will gain financial success from writing and others won’t. That’s reality.
I can’t stress out too much about rejection (even though I do). I have enough things to stress about. Work. PhD. Husband. Children. House. Mortgages. Car payments. Insurance payments. Health. Etc. Etc. I have to think about – How much living do I have left? How many years do I have left? What more can I do to be happy, truly happy? I can’t control people around me. So, I need to think about what I can control and what things really matter.
For now, here’s another picture from my recent Iceland trip that I took on the horse farm we were staying on. Again, Iceland was amazing, and I’ve been thinking about going back.